I Will Keep My “Fake” Facebook Life, Thank You Very Much!

I am SO tired of reading the posts and cute little FB memes about everybody’s fake happy life on Facebook and how it’s all a bunch of bullshit.

face book pic screenshot

I will take that happy bullshit any day over the dark, depressing crap that is on the TV news.

Turn on the news and before you know it, 6 minutes have past and you’ve heard about 12 people murdered, 2 six-alarm fires, and 5 more foods you should never eat.

Newspapers are the same.  We are conditioned to believe that bad news is the only news worth delivering. Quite frankly, I am tired of listening to only the bad stuff.  I don’t want to hear only about how awful this world is because I have come to see that there are WAY more beautiful things happening than bad.

Based on people’s FB’s pics and posts, I would say that most people agree with me.

I wouldn’t say that everyone is faking their lives on social media, they are simply expressing the beauty captured in their lives.

I read a hilarious and totally relatable post on this topic the other day.  This mom’s point of view was that life is messy and ugly and everyone should stop posting pictures of calm serenity when it is really chaotic.  While I agree on one hand-  being a mom is busy and life is messy, for sure, I feel that if we can find a few moments of beauty, why not share?  It doesn’t make you a liar or a fake, it makes you an optimist or a person who can see beauty the through the crap.

facebook screenshot

I consider myself a person to be one of those people who sees beauty through the crap.  I have removed the people in my life who only see the bad.  I barely watch the news or read the paper (I do pay attention to the bigger picture things that affect my life directly) but over all, I am pretty happy and positive. Knowing about the six-alarm fire 7 towns over does not help me or my stress level.  This is tragic and real and people are hurt- I get this, but having devastating news shoved down my throat hourly doesn’t help anything. In fact, studies show that exposure to negative news can cause major stress issues, even mimicking PTSD.

Seeing smiling faces and happy memories on social media does bring me happiness.  I love seeing pictures of my high school friends and their families. I love seeing (and getting to know) people that I probably wouldn’t lay eyes on in real life. I love learning about new places and recipes. I also love hearing opinions from people that I know and respect.

So this girl, is going to keep her “fake” Facebook life and love every minute of it.

Please, everyone, keep sharing happy posts and pictures.  I, for one, truly appreciate it. 😊


Jenns Bio Pic 2Jennifer Ormond is a Boston-based entrepreneur, author, radio personality, blogger, mom to 4 amazing kids, and wife.  Lover of business, coffee, writing, children and parenting.  Queen of sarcasm and eternal optimist! 

Connect with Jenn at mommybusiness.net, coffeebreakcafe.net, or jenniferormond.com. On Twitter- @jennormond & @mommybiz7

Mind Body Green Published My Post – 6 Common Myths About The Vagina!

Thank you Mind Body Green for sharing my newest post!

For some reason we just don’t talk about the vagina in a positive manner as much as we should.  I have heard some disappointing remarks about vaginas from both men and women recently, which is what inspired me to write this.

Read it here, share and enjoy!

J

4 Tips to Avoid Having Friends Who Suck the Life Out of You

If you are reading this post, you probably have a friend or two that suck the life out of you.  GET RID OF THEM! (Gasp!  Horror!)  If you haven’t ever removed a friend from your life, it sounds so scary.  I remember the first time it was suggested to me that I remove someone from my life, it was a very long term friend…  I thought, what?!?!?!?  How is that even possible?

It’s a really tough concept to wrap your head around, but nobody else can cause you pain.  You are in charge of your own feelings.  You can choose to feel happy, sad, stressed, any emotion really.  When you begin to realize that you can control your feelings and emotions, it is pretty easy to not allow people to suck the life out of you.

 

Shutterstock image

Shutterstock image

 

When I gave birth to my first child, I suddenly saw a few people in my life for who they really were and knew they couldn’t be in my life anymore.  Ugly, life-sucking opinions came out.  Disrespectful drop-ins without a call first, and awful, rotten things said behind my back about my parenting decisions.  I was miserable, yet so blissfully in love and happy at the same time.

A brilliant life coach asked me why I was putting up with these people who constantly made my life miserable.  I thought it was such a strange question and honestly it took months for me to understand what she meant.  I began by taking baby steps.  I decided to build a wall around myself when I had to deal with this small group of people and not let their comments hurt me.  Once I wrapped my head around the concept, I began to stick up for myself little by little and something funny happened: By sticking up for myself, I felt a shift and unknowingly changed the dynamic of our relationship.  Some didn’t like it all and our relationships ended.  It was beautiful!  One other relationship “got it”.  She understood what had happened and worked hard at making our relationship better.  It was the perfect outcome.

I started small.  There were two friends that added nothing but negativity to my life.  It was shockingly easy to let go of those friendships.  Once I got the taste for letting go of negativity, I cleaned house.  There were some major life-changing people I removed from my life, some were expensive, time consuming and emotional, but worth every single penny, minute and feeling.

I tend to volunteer my time on various boards and commissions.  I am involved with my children’s schools and deal with a lot of people at my job.  We all encounter difficult people and sometimes we have no choice but to work with them on certain projects.  That is when you have to build your little wall and not let them get to you and move on when the project is complete.

My husband and I have created what we like to call our “happy bubble”.  We check in with each other on certain people and places that are either in or out of our happy bubble.  Lately we have let some real crap into our bubble and it’s time to clean house.  It’s been a while since I have had to, but life got busy and I got  a little sloppy.

Four tips to keep life-sucking people away from your happy bubble:

1. Go with your gut.

We usually can feel it when somebody won’t add anything positive to your life.  I have ignored that little gut feeling too many times.  It’s not worth it.

2.  Don’t feel bad about your decision.

Letting a friend go is usually what is best for both of you.  Let. It. Go.

3.  Be clear.

The “break up” doesn’t have to be a big emotional scene.

Just be clear and unemotional.  You could say something like, “I think it would be best if we went our separate ways. We don’t seem to agree on many things and I respect you too much to continue to disagree.”  There are lots of ways to let somebody know in a civil manner that you don’t want to be friends.

4.  Learn the signs of life-sucking people and avoid!

Most toxic, negative people have the same traits.  Learn them and run in the opposite direction when you meet them.

Life is just too short to walk around unhappy, stressed, and miserable because of the people you surround yourself with.  The people in your life are there because of choices you have made.  Make better choices and you will see wonderful things happen.

 

A little love reminder…

Do you ever catch yourself looking at somebody you see every day, a little differently? Tonight, my husband said something that was kind of funny in a dry, sarcastic manner. I looked at him without thinking and for whatever reason I found myself gazing at him finding him extremely attractive.

I think he is attractive in general but I feel like most of the time I don’t actually see him.

I go through the motions of life, busy with four kids, a business, a dog, a few gerbils, a guinea pig, writing children books, a blog/radio show, family and friends. Most days I am blinded by getting to the next activity or “to do” thing on my list.

Then there are times like last tonight where a small glance turns into a full on, full of love moment.

 

image from Shutterstock

image from Shutterstock

We got a lot of snow these past few weeks (life in New England). My husband has been out snow blowing and shoveling our businesses most of the time (small business owners). The kids and I have barely seen him. He came home last night and taught my oldest son how to play a Beatles song on the guitar.  My heart melts when I get to enjoy moments like that.

I love that my kids love the same qualities about my husband that made me fall head over heels in love with him so long ago.

He still gives me butterflies when I see him.

It was such an unexpected treat to really see the guy I fell in love with 25 years ago.

Happy Valentines Day!

Carving Out Some Time to Be a Grown-Up!

What a fun show this morning! It feels good to acknowledge that we all need to be grown-ups, away from our children sometimes. As Jenn mentioned, sometimes it helps just to take a quick trip to the grocery store all by yourself. As a mom or dad, we become accustomed to being and/or doing everything for our families. Taking time to “reset” is good for us, for our sanity, and for our families!

Working out alone or with friends is a doubly healthy choice! I love to go to a zumba class in the morning. It gets me moving and my energy flowing and I’m a much nicer mommy and wife- and a much more productive business owner- on those days. I also love to squeeze in time at my favorite quilt shop (Heart in Hands in Weymouth,) although that doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.

I love “Didi from Marshfield”‘s idea of the “Selfish Mommies” group! She said that her group of ladies gets together for a potluck, sans kids, at one of their homes on a monthly basis and they go out for a nice dinner once a year. How simple and awesome is that?!

As much as I value the bit of alone time I take, I really covet time alone with my husband. We are both really busy with work and the kids’ schedules, so getting some time to chill out and catch up is really important. Sometimes, we make a big effort to feed the kids their dinner early and move the bedtime routine along to get them in bed early so we can cuddle up and catch up on a show we like. (Grey’s Anatomy, New Girl, etc.!) I really love stealing time to go out for a nice dinner. Andy and I both love good food- Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, Thai, Indian… YUM! We’re lucky to live so close to the great restaurants in Boston and Cambridge, and a handful of gems on the South Shore. (Thank you to Brian at Sintra for providing the prize for today’s show! Didi is going to love her dinner out!)

As I mentioned on the air, I really love getting dressed up and going out with Andy- for weddings, fundraisers, etc. (I’m counting down to my best friends’ wedding in April ’14!!!) Next weekend, in Boston, will be the perfect opportunity for anyone else who enjoys getting glamorous; Ellie Fund’s 17th Annual Oscar Experience Boston is Sunday, Feb 24 at the State Room. We spoke with Scott Clifford (an attorney with Epstein, Lipsey and Clifford, and a Board Member for the Ellie Fund) about this fantastic red carpet event to benefit the Ellie Fund. This black-tie event at the beautiful State Room in Boston will have guests feeling like stars as they celebrate the Oscars at the only Academy-sanctioned event in Massachusetts- all while raising money for one of my favorite organizations! The Ellie Fund provides services to ease the effects of breast cancer on women and their families in MA- think meals, housekeeping, rides to doctor appointments, childcare. Check out the details for this event and the online auction, too! More to come about Scott and the great work he does for the Ellie Fund!

Now, I’m off to plan a date-night for me and Andy. And some me-time so I can be super-mom this week! Don’t forget to leave your thoughts and tips for carving out grown-up time.

-M 🙂