Seeing the Good, Even through Loss

When I was young, I was told and I believed that “everything happens for a reason.”

That is bullshit. Things do not happen for a reason. We assign meaning to things to help make sense of them. And the truth is, there can be good that comes after pretty much everything. If you’re a silver linings kind of person.

I am. I am the ultimate optimist, guilty of always looking for and seeing the good in people.

My 8 year old son died on July 7, just weeks shy of the 9th birthday he was so excited for, after a 13 day illness that everyone thought he would walk away from.

But I’m looking for the good. Not the why- there is not any good reason in the universe for a sweet life to be cut short. But there are and will be good things to notice.

The outpouring of love and support (we knew it was there, but it was powerful nonetheless.)

The media focusing on the important facts- Josh was amazing, he should be remembered.

Joshua’sĀ friends and school-mates and other children in the community taking action to show support and help fund causes he cared about.

Friends, family and strangers reaching out and speaking from their hearts, even when it goes against their personality to get so personal.

And most importantly- the parents who hear Joshua’s story. They are slowing down, taking more time with their children, loving them just as they are in that moment, breathing them in and appreciating them.

There is no good reason for Joshua to be gone. But there is good all around us.

Photo credit: Jonathan Kaye

Photo credit: Jonathan Kaye


  1. He wanted to be a leader and he would have been a brilliant one. His questions were profound, his compassion for others was unique, his love for his family and friends was a joy to behold. Although the loss of this joyful little boy is profound and sometimes overwhelming, his memory is a comfort. He is my silver lining.

  2. Krista Perry says:

    What a privilege it has been for me to meet Josh through the words & pictures his family has shared. His sweet soul becomes an ever more real and tangible presence in
    my life with every word you write and with every picture you post. Thank you for sharing the love, joy and compassion that is Josh ..

  3. The “everything happens for a reason” theory is a great nemesis of mine. It seems okay until you see a photo of a 2 year old with a rifle pointed at her face. Or someone you know that falls victim to an illness that affects .01% of the population, or you suffer the loss of a child.
    But I do believe that people are inherently good. That most people actually do feel and show both joy and or empathy – I’m in love with the human spirit, which is where I get my hope. The only good that comes from tragic circumstances is the good we make by helping others and getting outside of ourselves. I love reading the things you write – keep after it, friend. xo

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