I Will Keep My “Fake” Facebook Life, Thank You Very Much!

I am SO tired of reading the posts and cute little FB memes about everybody’s fake happy life on Facebook and how it’s all a bunch of bullshit.

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I will take that happy bullshit any day over the dark, depressing crap that is on the TV news.

Turn on the news and before you know it, 6 minutes have past and you’ve heard about 12 people murdered, 2 six-alarm fires, and 5 more foods you should never eat.

Newspapers are the same.  We are conditioned to believe that bad news is the only news worth delivering. Quite frankly, I am tired of listening to only the bad stuff.  I don’t want to hear only about how awful this world is because I have come to see that there are WAY more beautiful things happening than bad.

Based on people’s FB’s pics and posts, I would say that most people agree with me.

I wouldn’t say that everyone is faking their lives on social media, they are simply expressing the beauty captured in their lives.

I read a hilarious and totally relatable post on this topic the other day.  This mom’s point of view was that life is messy and ugly and everyone should stop posting pictures of calm serenity when it is really chaotic.  While I agree on one hand-  being a mom is busy and life is messy, for sure, I feel that if we can find a few moments of beauty, why not share?  It doesn’t make you a liar or a fake, it makes you an optimist or a person who can see beauty the through the crap.

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I consider myself a person to be one of those people who sees beauty through the crap.  I have removed the people in my life who only see the bad.  I barely watch the news or read the paper (I do pay attention to the bigger picture things that affect my life directly) but over all, I am pretty happy and positive. Knowing about the six-alarm fire 7 towns over does not help me or my stress level.  This is tragic and real and people are hurt- I get this, but having devastating news shoved down my throat hourly doesn’t help anything. In fact, studies show that exposure to negative news can cause major stress issues, even mimicking PTSD.

Seeing smiling faces and happy memories on social media does bring me happiness.  I love seeing pictures of my high school friends and their families. I love seeing (and getting to know) people that I probably wouldn’t lay eyes on in real life. I love learning about new places and recipes. I also love hearing opinions from people that I know and respect.

So this girl, is going to keep her “fake” Facebook life and love every minute of it.

Please, everyone, keep sharing happy posts and pictures.  I, for one, truly appreciate it. 😊


Jenns Bio Pic 2Jennifer Ormond is a Boston-based entrepreneur, author, radio personality, blogger, mom to 4 amazing kids, and wife.  Lover of business, coffee, writing, children and parenting.  Queen of sarcasm and eternal optimist! 

Connect with Jenn at mommybusiness.net, coffeebreakcafe.net, or jenniferormond.com. On Twitter- @jennormond & @mommybiz7

Trigger Warnings & Facebook’s Year in Review

About a year ago, I read an article about high school and college students wanting trigger warnings for material on the syllabus. I was irritated and thought it was unreasonable. I understood that if someone had PTSD or had been raped, that certain material may trigger some awful memories and emotions. At the same time, I assumed that these students participate in the real world to some degree, if they are able to sit in a classroom and do homework. If that’s the case, these students are probably watching TV and skimming Facebook timelines, where they will see movie trailers, commercials, headlines and video clips that may cause similar distress. My conclusion was that if schools agreed to label the reading list with trigger warnings, it would become a never ending list. The best literature is often packed with the hardest things in life. Reading some of the things might be hard, but working through the book may be good therapy. Or not. Student’s choice at that point.

This past week, as each Facebook friend’s Year in Review popped up, I felt a little kick to my gut every time I read the words “It’s been a great year. Thanks for being a part of it!” In fact, the first time it popped up, I felt a little hurt- how could someone close to me say that it had been a great year? My son died on July 7 after a nightmarish 13 day battle with E. coli. It was sudden and shocking. We watched our child suffer in ways no person ever should and we witnessed things that replay in our minds every day, like nightmares on a movie screen as we try to live without him.

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So, when I read a Huffington Post article yesterday, saying that Facebook had apologized to a dad who lost his daughter this year, I was torn. I feel for the guy. I know how jarring it was to see the automated prompt, with my boy’s smiling face in the middle and confetti all around. I knew what the last 6 months of my year have looked like and I didn’t want a replay. But, I did not have to look! I think the app was a great idea- it’s fun for most people. It wasn’t fun for me. It wasn’t fun to see everyone’s happy year end while mine sucks. But, that is my life right now. I don’t expect a trigger warning on Facebook, or on the radio before an ad for Whole Foods, where we bought the ground beef that made Joshy sick. I don’t expect companies like Folger’s to change their emotional commercials so that they don’t highlight, for me, the fact that I will never wake up at my adult son’s home and tell his children stories of his childhood. I can’t expect to avoid seeing adorable, blonde boys playing with sisters and friends, searching for bugs, walking their dogs. I shouldn’t expect to avoid the feelings that follow the most traumatic events and the biggest loss of my life.

Sometimes, life is hard. Sometimes it sucks and is unfair. Sometimes awful, unthinkable things happen. We can not expect the world to think of every terrible possibility and walk on eggshells to avoid triggering our nightmares. We must do the best we can to work through and live on, hopefully remembering the happy times more often than the worst.