I will never forget the night my mom called to let me know that my nana was not going to make it through the night.
I was home folding laundry watching the season finale of The Apprentice. My kids were sleeping. My husband was working. I had paused The Apprentice while on the phone. When I hung up I un-paused the show and Trace Adkins had just taken the stage. He began to sing and I was mesmerized. He sang a song about how life can be so crazy but “you’re gonna miss this” -the chorus and the name of the song. Like country music does, it tells little stories of life. I heard my life in it.
It hit me so hard at that exact moment; Trace was right. I already missed my nana and she was still here. She was in a coma-like sleep and had been for a few days, so technically the nana I knew and loved had already left us.
I cried. Then I cried some more.
The next morning my nana was still hanging in there. Not conscious, but still breathing.
I went out and bought Trace’s album and listened to that song over and over. Later that day when she passed away I cried even more.
I never said a word to my kids about that song but each one of them told me months later how much they loved that song and how it reminded them of Nana Alice.
That was in March of 2008.
I am thinking about that tonight as my children have a group of friends over and they are swimming, music is blaring and they are laughing, shouting and singing. They are LOUD. They are fun, happy and loving life.
I sit back on the deck and watch them swim, not able to hear myself think because it is so loud, but
I wouldn’t change a thing. I am soaking up every sound, every laugh and every smile.
These days, these years, they are the best ones of my life.
I know I’m gonna miss this. ❤️