What 45 Looks Like

I was on a weekend getaway with my family recently in New Hampshire, when I bumped into an acquaintance who lives in the town next to mine. We knew each other well enough to say hello and chat a bit. We talked about skiing and North Conway and how great it is.

She asked me if I skied and I told her I hadn’t put them on since before children. Since my oldest is 14, that makes it about 15 years since the last time I had skied. I was bursting with pride because I didn’t fall down once!!

I told her how excited I was that this 45 year old body could still behave like a 20 something’s. She looked at me like she was a bit confused. She then said, “Wow! You do NOT look 45.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Is this a compliment?

What does 45 look like?

Do I look older or younger?

Then I went back to, what does 45 look like?

I thought about it for a few days and this is what I have come up with.

1. 45 looks tired. I can’t remember the last time I slept in my own bed without a kid waking up in the middle of the night needing a hug for a bad dream or an arm or leg in my face.  I have 4 kids who are active and require me to drive a lot, cook, do laundry and a lot of cleaning. We also do lots of homework, lots of arguing and an awful lot of laughing.

Kids sleeping in my spot on the bed :-(

Kids sleeping in my spot on the bed 🙁

2. 45 looks bigger. For me, anyway. I have been fighting weight gain since the sperm hit the egg 15 years ago and the numbers keep going up, unfortunately.  I am having fun working out, trying to get the numbers back down, though.

I love my taekwondo!

I love my taekwondo!

3. 45 looks lighter. I no longer care so much about what others think. Obviously, there are a select few people in my life that I truly love and respect and I care what they think but, overall, people can and do talk crap about me and I simply don’t care. As women, we spend so much time worrying about what others think and say about us when it really only matters what we think of ourselves. I don’t think I understood that truly until I hit my 40’s.

Kids making me "pretty".  They wrote "mom" on my face :-)

Kids making me “pretty”. They wrote “mom” on my face 🙂

4. 45 looks ballsy. Yep, ballsy! I do things now that I never would have done in my 20’s. I speak publicly about being a business owner and try to help as many people as possible. I get up in front of strangers and judges and do taekwondo at tournaments. I recently got on skis for the first time in 15 years (I was terrified). I am on the radio. I write. I put myself out there and allow myself to be vulnerable.

That is me, filled with anxiety about to go down the mountain.  Well, okay it was the bunny hill but that counts!  :-)

That is me, filled with anxiety about to go down the mountain. Well, okay it was the bunny hill but that counts! 🙂

5. 45 looks (or feels) like a kid who is still learning how to be an adult. I hugged my oldest the other night, he was upset. I caught our reflection in the mirror while hugging and thought to myself, how on earth did I get the honor and privilege of parenting this kid? I am still a kid myself trying to find my way through this life, and here I am making the rules.

6.  45 looks grateful.  I am grateful to have a husband who loves me and four children who teach me why I was put here on this earth.  I am grateful for a roof over my head and food in my belly. I am grateful that my parents had me young and I have them both in my life still.  I am grateful for REALLY good friends and I am super grateful for such a tight knit extended family.

7. 45 looks happy. I am happy.  I truly appreciate what I have. I love my husband, my children and my businesses. I understand now, more than ever, that money really can’t buy happiness.

Me and my love out having fun :-)

Me and my love out having fun 🙂

 

I am grateful that this woman made me really think long and hard about what 45 looks like.  I don’t know if I look my age.  Hopefully, when people look at me, they see a mom, wife, friend who tries to be a good person, because every day I try to be a little bit better than I was yesterday.

 


Jenns Bio Pic 2Jennifer Ormond is a Boston-based entrepreneur, author, radio personality, blogger, mom to 4 amazing kids, and wife.  Lover of business, coffee, writing, children and parenting.  Queen of sarcasm and eternal optimist! 

Connect with Jenn at mommybusiness.net, coffeebreakcafe.net, or jenniferormond.com. On Twitter- @jennormond & @mommybiz7

 

 

Comments

  1. Michelle Ann Bini Stenberg says:

    I think you look wonderful every day – you are a PHENOMENAL MOM – a great leader- a terrific BOSS – a GIVER

    Proud to know you!!!!!!!!

  2. Michelle Ann Bini Stenberg says:

    Oh, and what a great article as well!!

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